Murphy's laws of flying

• No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.

• If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

• If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

• Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

• If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.

• If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

• Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

• The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

• The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.

• The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

• When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

• Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

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  Source: A letter to the editor of "Frequent Flyer" magazine (by Carl Macina) with few additions from misc sources