Murphy's laws of military issues

• If the enemy is in range, so are you.

• Incoming fire has the right of way.

• There is always a way.

• The easy way is always mined.

• Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

• Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
  1. when you're ready for them.
  2. when you're not ready for them.

• Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

• If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

• The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

• A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

• If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

• Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

• Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

• Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

• If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

• When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

• Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

• No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

• Friendly fire ain't.

• The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

• The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

• If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

• The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

• There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

• Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

• If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.